Sure, health means free from disease, or a body that is managing a disease, but it’s more than that. Healthy people can competently deal with the stressors that impact their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. The food you choose cannot, alone, bring you health. 

Whether your food police is an actual person or your “inner mean girl,” the only purpose is to pass judgment. When you place food into categories — good, bad, fattening, superfood, low-carb, etc. — it sets you up to pass judgment on those foods, which can cause a cascade effect. You relate the ingestion of “good” or “bad” food to a “good” or “bad” you. “Oh, I was so bad today — I had dessert. What a guilty pleasure!” Sound familiar? Deeming food as a guilty pleasure denotes that it is something you should feel guilty about eating. If you choose “good” foods all day, every day, does that make you a better person, or does it leave you feeling restricted, stressed and obsessed? My (educated) guess is the latter. How is that healthy?

Let me make this perfectly clear. Food is not good. Food is not bad. Food is food. Food does not define your character and does not affect your self-worth or your morality. It’s time to leave food alone, and it’s time to leave yourself alone. Shame and guilt have never been effective motivators toward wellness, so cut yourself some slack.

The food rules you are born with — those internal cues of hunger and satiety —often are pushed so far down by external cues that we no longer hear them, or are afraid to listen to them. Instead of passing judgment, begin to practice curious observation, which allows you to look at what you eat with awareness of how you physically feel, rather than the emotional attachment that comes with judgment.  

When you eat, decide whether the food you choose energizes you or depletes you. Pay attention to whether it satisfies your hunger, or whether you need something else to reach satiety. Notice how long that satiety lasts before needing to eat again. Decide whether you choose a food because you enjoy eating it, or because you were told that it was good for you in some way. Then it’s up to you to decide if you will continue to listen to judgment passed by yourself or others, or begin to practice something new. Curiosity will let you base your food choices on internal cues like hunger and digestibility and set you free from the burden of food rules.

Isn’t it time you let yourself be? Say so long to the food police and practice a kinder inner voice.

Many dieters are caught in this vicious cycle — known as the “Last Supper Syndrome” — led by a fear of restriction, guilt and failure. When you know that you are about to put yourself into a state of famine, how could you possibly not feast? This knowledge drives you to eat as if you will never be able to eat these beloved foods again.

Sure, you may enjoy the taste of your Last Supper, but when you have thoroughly stuffed yourself, the guilt and negative self-talk rears its ugly head with a vengeance. So you start that diet on Monday with the guilty feelings still surrounding you, and you vow to restrict yourself from all of the “bad” foods until you are thin/buff/a size 2.

But when fear and failure drive you, how can you possibly succeed?

As you go through the week, you start to follow your diet’s rules: should and shouldn’t, or good and bad, or whatever you call your restrictions. But then the negotiations begin.

You are doing great on this restrictive diet, you have even exercised a few days this week, so you deserve to reward yourself with those “guilty pleasure” foods, right? You have been so deprived that the little you allow yourself turns into a lot more than you intended. And while it feels good being in the moment of food bliss, the second you come down from your high, the guilt and negative self-talk returns. And thus the vicious cycle begins again.

How many times have you been going around and around? For me and many others, I am sure it is more times than can be counted. I think it’s time to put an end to it. But how?

How to End the Restrictive Eating Cycle

If the rules of restrictive dieting aren’t bringing success, and willpower fails in the presence of rules, how are we to reach our goals? When hunger is not the reason for eating, reaching satisfaction is nearly impossible.

It’s simple, really. Remove the rules. That’s right — end restrictive eating, stomp out food stigmas and rid your life of diets, cleanses, jump starts, quick fixes or whatever you call them. Instead, start eating mindfully. Listen to your body: Are you hungry? Are you bored? Are you overwhelmed? Are you celebrating? If you are hungry, then by all means, eat! If you are feeling any other emotional, spiritual or physical sensation other than hunger, address those needs. It’s a simple as that.

Well, it might not be simple at first. It takes practice and it may even require the help of a health professional such as a therapist or a registered dietitian nutritionist. Seek out help. Once you choose to free yourself from restrictive eating, you will be free to spend your energy on your emotional, spiritual and physical parts of your life. You may even begin to do all the things you have been waiting to do until you found diet success, instead of spending your time obsessing over a set of rules that have failed you time and time again. Are you ready?